In my last blog post, I wrote about the many hours of deliberate practice required to master a skill. But deliberate practice only works if it’s done well—and for many skills, that’s hard, sometimes impossible, to do alone. Feedback is often what turns effort into progress. Without it, we may put in the time and still fail to improve in meaningful ways.
Deliberate practice isn’t just repetition; it’s targeted effort informed by what actually matters. Feedback is what helps identify those targets.
What Effective Feedback Looks Like in Practice
Here’s a simple personal example. I’m currently working on a remodeling project and doing some of the work myself, mostly deconstruction. While removing tile from a kitchen backsplash, the contractor gave me a few quick tips—where to cut, which tool to use to pry, and how to smooth the surface afterward. It took less than two minutes.
Those two minutes made the work faster, less destructive, and higher quality. They also made his job easier when it came time to install the new tile, saving me money.
What struck me was how effective that feedback was. I could have watched dozens of YouTube videos, but instead an expert showed me exactly what mattered, right when I needed it. That’s the power of feedback from someone with real skill—it accelerates learning and improves outcomes for everyone involved.
Why Receiving Feedback Isn’t Always Easy
In that situation, I was very open to feedback because I knew I wasn’t an expert. In other contexts, I’m less eager to receive it. When that happens, I try to remind myself of something a good friend once told me: feedback is a gift. You don’t have to accept every gift exactly as it’s given, but it’s worth pausing to consider it thoughtfully.
Who the feedback comes from—and how it’s delivered—matters a great deal. The contractor was direct, respectful, and clearly trying to help, which made it easy to listen and act. In contrast, if someone whose expertise I don’t know offers advice in an area where I’m already confident in my skills, whether analytics or something else, I’m naturally more skeptical. When feedback comes from someone whose experience I trust, I’m far more likely to reflect and adjust.
That difference isn’t stubbornness or defensiveness—it’s judgment, shaped by experience.
Giving Feedback Requires Judgment, Not Just Honesty
As a manager, I saw this dynamic play out all the time. Some people want very direct, specific feedback about where they can improve. Others find any feedback that isn’t entirely positive difficult to hear. Effective feedback isn’t just about being honest; it’s about understanding how it will be received and delivering it in a way that supports growth.
Giving feedback well requires the same kind of judgment as receiving it—reading the situation, knowing the person, and being clear about intent.
Why Self-Assessment Fails Without External Input
There’s also a cognitive challenge here. People aren’t always good at assessing their own performance. We may believe we’re doing something well when better approaches exist or underestimate our strengths when our skills are actually quite advanced. This phenomenon has been studied extensively and is often referred to as the Dunning–Kruger effect.
That’s another reason feedback matters—it helps calibrate our self-perception. When I think back to removing those kitchen tiles, what I was doing wasn’t wrong. But it wasn’t optimal. Two minutes of expert feedback saved time, improved quality, and made a meaningful difference.
External Feedback Teaches You What to Notice
I see this same dynamic in sports. I once mentioned to my tennis coach how much I appreciate the constant feedback she gives me—after nearly every shot. Her response was that I should be giving myself feedback after every shot as well: thinking about footwork, swing path, spin, and positioning.
That reflection is deliberate practice. External feedback helps you learn what to notice; internal feedback helps you improve continuously. Over time, the goal is not to rely less on feedback, but to internalize it.
Feedback Is a Gift—Use It Deliberately
Feedback can be exhausting and sometimes uncomfortable, especially when it’s unexpected or challenges how we see ourselves. But if expertise is built through deliberate practice, feedback is what keeps that practice honest and effective.
When you receive it, consider the source, consider the intent, and decide how best to use the gift.
What’s one piece of feedback you’ve received that changed how you approach your work—and what made you trust it?
References
Kruger, J., & Dunning, D. (1999). Unskilled and Unaware of It: How Difficulties in Recognizing One’s Own Incompetence Lead to Inflated Self-Assessments. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 77(6), 1121–1134.
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